Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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