i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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