Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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