Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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