there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
