She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize