his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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