Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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