New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
