Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize