I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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