dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
