Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
