My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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