I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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