i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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