nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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