Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
