i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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