She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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