There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
