im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
how do you play pong handcuffed?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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