I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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