ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.