Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
