I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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