I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
