I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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