You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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