Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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