Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
