EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
