ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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