I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
