Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
