What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
