i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
