I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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