dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize