Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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