This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
