smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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