At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize