what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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