I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
