New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
