oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
