im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
