Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
