i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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