Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
