How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
