When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
