It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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