I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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