god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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