omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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