i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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