she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
