sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
